You snapped at me for the first time a few days ago. In that moment, I was so mad at you, but ultimately I let it go. You wanted me to scream at you and to yell and to say awful things but I couldn't. You asked if I could ever forgive you and I said that I already had.
In that moment I forgave you, but I didn't forgive you.
I said that it was fine, that I understood that you were just tired and I was just being annoying but it still hurt. It was like a slap to the face that I never saw coming
I let it go though. I kept it all inside for your sake. All though you were being a massive asshole and probably deserved for me to be angry I couldn't do it. I knew you were sick. That you would worry yourself half to death about it if I had just gone to bed and ignored you. I knew that you would be angry with yourself, and that you would think that you had messed up another friendship. I spend enough time around you to know that you wouldn't forgive yourself, and that would cause you more pain than me yelling at you ever would. So I let it go. I buried those feelings deep inside because although I may have been mad at you, and that you may have deserved it, you are still my best friend, and I could never put you through any pain, not even a little bit, not any at all.
I forgave you but I don't forgive you