Hey Internet,
So I started this blog almost two years ago now and it's crazy how much has changed. I look back at my old posts and I just laugh at myself because in my mind at that point in time, boys and friends were the most important thing in my life. When I started this blog I was in ninth grade so I didn't really care too much about the future. Where I was going, what I was going to do, or even worldly issues. In my mind, everything centered around who was friends with who. I started writing this blog at the suggestion of someone I used to be friends with who was also blogging. Back in eighth grade I kept a journal at the suggestion of my English teacher and surprisingly I really enjoyed it, but having three younger sisters it became hard to keep it private. So I started writing this blog, whilst trying to sound more mature and melancholy than I actually was. So I'm back and this is what has changed...
So what changed?
Well, when I first started writing this blog I had just gone through one of the most drastic changes that has ever possibly happened to me. My best friend had moved away and it was only really when she moved away that I realised how malicious she really was and how fake out friendship had been. I had also just broken up with a boy who I thought I was in love with, but now I think it was just the idea of him that I was in love with.
So it got to the point after the first term of school where I had been hanging out with my longest friend and the greatest person in the entire world, but I didn't really fit in with her crowd so I decided to go and make some new friends and find a new place to belong.
This is the story of how I ended up with the 'hipsters'.
So little lost ninth grade me went in search of some friends, and I ended up hanging out with a close friend who was also hanging out with them and eventually I assimilated into the gang. Everything was great. I had finally found my place again, which is something really difficult to do in high school. We were a small tight knit group and in my mind I thought it was 'cool' that we didn't do things the same as everyone else and that we stuck to ourselves. It didn't really become apparent to me the walls we were building around us though until a friend of ours stuck his metaphorical toe outside of the walls and was banished forever. They started teasing him and saying horrible things but I put on my rose coloured glasses and pushed it to the back of my mind.
The it happened to another person.
And another.
And another.
To the point where it seemed like every couple of months we were gaining a few new people and then losing some. Those who did not wish to conform to the group mentality or who stood up for their own beliefs were banished.
In March of this year I finally took a stand and after writing out a personal apology to everyone whose group mentality I may have offended, I decided that I don't need to apologise for standing up for myself or for others. So me and another girl who agreed with me left in search for another group of friends. Luckily unlike most of the other group, my walls weren't built that high and they were easily knocked down when it came to this. I have since started hanging out with some good friends of mine that I have stayed close with over the years despite briefly becoming one of the 'hipsters'.
So that is a brief outline of what has been up with me since I last posted, which was over a year ago (yikes).
So what have I learned from this experience?
1. Never conform to what others want / expect from you ESPECIALLY if it conflicts with your morals and beliefs.
2. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and make new friends / re-establish friendships with old ones.
and
3. Nothing is forever. Whether that be high school or university. Your career or even marriage. Everything that happens to you is just an experience to learn from, so don't get caught up in it, and rather live it.
So goodbye for now, I hope to talk to you all again very soon. I hope to start writing regular posts again as I enter the most stressful year of my life - The HSC!
(for those of you who are not Australian, the HSC stands for the Higher School Certificate, which is pretty much a diploma that you get at the end of twelfth grade. The ATAR score you get on it is your rank within your grade throughout the state based on assessment and exam marks)
Anyways, Thank you for listening to my life,
Bye x
