Sunday, 14 June 2015


I've been staring at my lap top for hours, trying to some how sort through everything in my head and put something on a page. I have so many things I need to do that I'd need to grow another hand to be able to count them all on my fingers. I feel sometimes people expect too much from me, and in turn, I most definitely expect too much from  myself.

I always seem to be the one putting my hand up for things, always the one trying to save everyone else. I feel like the world is resting on my shoulders because no one else is strong enough to handle it. Lately though I've started to crack, the world slowly starting to crush me under its weight. I'm struggling and no one can save me.

Only me.

But then I would let my self down, and I would let my friends down and my teachers, and my family. I've always got to be 'perfect', I'm the smart one, I'm the one who is supposed to be a doctor or a lawyer and just be great. I can't do it though. Greatness is just too far out of reach, but I just can't let it go, I just can't stop reaching for it. I'm too stubborn to stop reaching, aspiring. The cliff beneath me starts to crumble and finally it breaks.

I fall,

Greatness staring at me with pity from above...





All of these expectations swirl around me as I plunge into the darkness of the depths of the ocean below, the crashing waves smashing me to pieces. I am drowning in expectations.

I know I should stop reaching, because I know what will happen, but to be great is all I have ever known.

Maybe that is my Achilles heel.